Two Young To Know In Forty Minutes?

She said,I am no good to any one.


Two young woman meet for the first time on a bridge.

I had just had my second baby, and lost her after being pregnant for over 7 months.   Riding home from my six week checkup alone, I took the back road’s to avoid traffic at 3:30 PM.

My older baby at home was just about 10 months. He had a pediatricians appointment that same day at 5:30PM.

Back then people had miscarriages and life goes on like it wasn’t a loss. I felt it alone.

As I was crossing over a short bridge not travelled by allot of traffic, I noticed a young teenage woman with one leg over the side of the rails.

There were no cell phones back in 1975, and I had passed her, so I stepped on it and went around again. While 3 or 4 minutes is all it took, it felt like 15 minutes.  I tried to reason out what I saw over and over again…. “Maybe she wasn’t going to jump”, “I need help”, “I ve never done this before”… “what will I say”.   I prayed and pulled up and over what seemed like hours but was 40 minutes I prayed between ever word. God help both of us.

As I walked towards her slowly she swore and told me to get away. She made barefoot attempts to climb. I spoke calm, even though I wasn’t.   I told her my name and asked her …her name and she told me .  I asked her if she would sit on the walk with me? She argue…” no I am going to jump, get the hell out of here.”

I thought …I need time…

Ok you sit over there and I ‘ll sit over here. She yell out you are not going to stop me, so get the hell out of here.   What does anyone care, I am the one hurt, so it will be done…I can’t and she hesitated to finish the sentences.

God please help me, I thought…please help us both. I was only 20 yrs old, she around 17 yrs old.

I need time, so I thought she’s either… dammed on doing it or she needs to trust someone really cares.

I said, “I won’t stop you, if you give me sometime, will you sit down. I truly want to know what hurt you so much that your not worth life.”

She stepped off the railing and sat on the pavement, her hair to her waste, a really beautiful teenager.  My heart by then was pounding …ok… Lord what next… and how would I help?

So I asked her where she was before she came to the conclusion to end her life.

She answered a local mental hospital.   She said, “I just left, walked off. They don’t care what happen to me, they want to drug me, while my rapist walks free.”  I told her that was awful, and they will get that bastard.

She began by telling me she was raped by her father, and was pregnant, and he had been raping her and another sibling sinces they were small.

She volunteered I don’t want an abortions, and some how she rationed killing herself was not directly killing her baby. Poor girl was twisted every corner she took was tainted with this horrible reality.

I asked her what will become of your younger sister if your not there for her? She was quiet and them began to cry…a brake through, there someone important to her.

Your sister needs you, she and you have lived the same horrible situation, she is going to need you here to fight for her. I know your pain is tremendous, and your thinking about you, the baby, and your sister…that’s allot,…your wanting to escape… it is normal.

Perhaps medication for now would help. She shifted away from the oncoming traffic and I waved several times for help. Finally a woman stopped from that mental hospital, and she asked if we needed help, right away my new friend got up and threaten again keep away. I asked her to stay back and got my new friend to sit down. She did and as we spoke the woman who stopped heard the conversation, she went to her car drove away and returned with the police.

She did not resist, and I gave her my number. I promised God I would always remember her. I know someday we will meet again in our after life.

This is a true story…when I got to the pediatrician and told him, he said God knew you would help her and in turn God helped you.

Don’t be afraid, to love those struggling, God does help…don’t be afraid..




Artist Homeless And Hooked… Creative blessings?

Sitting in the local square, outside my dog groomers on a day sizzeling hot July 2017,  I noted a young man counting change as he waited with a large group of homeless. They come daily for food, clothing and shelter from the heat.

This young man in his perhaps mid twenty was short in money to get on the bus back to the shelter.

Opening my window the heat and humidity just hits quickly. I heard him asking for 50 cents in a small crowd across the road.

I called to him and he looked embarrassment, fear and pain in his voice.

He started with “I just need 50 cents for the bus …can you help please?”.

While I searched for change… I found a 5 dollar bill and a dollar in change.

I hesitated and then I thought ” if he does wrong with it, he will atone”. It’s not for me to judge anyone. I will atone for my will to “love my neighbor as myself”.

I gave him the money and he got emotional, as I recall his voice and his expression …my heart feels sick.  A young life …younger than my own sons. My grandsons age, I would do anything for my love ones. How does a family give up? You don’t enable, but check in and I never stop trying to let my love one know…I love them. …Drop food, bus pass, bring them to a medical clinic, just visit in short spams. I didn’t take abuse, I hung up, but when the phone rang the voice on thee other end was ready to be peaceful.

I blow my stack, told that love one the truth and hung up. But it cut through allot of selfishness. That person gradually knew what real love was and it was not to be abused or neglected, but appreciated. All the fluffy friend words didn’t stand by him.

Some never get it unless your ready to “man the battleship with steadfast love.”

He was clean cut but his cloths tattered , the day shelter offers shower and a shave.  I asked why, he said…” I was married and it just fell a part. I was lost after she left, I lost my job and home.

I asked was he doing drugs?… he answered “yes.”

I started after a bone surgery, I got hook to Opioid.

I told him about the treatment facility my love one had success with …and get God. I offered to help arrange for him to get in, but he has to want it, it takes allot of emotional work. He said, he would get himself there. I pray for him daily.

He said I lost God…my answer “right cause he never leaves his kids.”

He went to walk away and he said, I want my life back. I said get to God, get to the program and God will give you… your life back big.

He reach in to a nap bag and said, “I am a graphic artist by trade, but I used the last of my ink to do this artwork”. It was signed, “Halla or Hallo” his hand writing told me,…he had most likely attended Catholic School, but private at the least, cursive… He showed me his bus ID# and said, ” it’s all I have to give you for your kindness. He originated in NY. I didn’t want to take it, I wanted to give him the battle God and I won for my loved one. It’s hard to walk away.

This is a sentences so torturous beyond any physical prison. Mental illness and addition go many times hand and hand. The drug medicates the mental pain whether its loss is to large for the mind or racing thoughts and unsettled, no balance or focus. Obessions and addictive tendencies. The list goes forever, but self medicating is another disaster.

The above photo is his art. I think the lines and color speak a mixture of life. He Deserves help, coverage and rehabilitation and medication.

It cost us on the street or in rehabilitation, to the work force. Human life is valuable and we should never ignore the soul.  The drug companies should not be able to capitalizes on the money, it should go to those harmed for treatment and programs to rebuild lives.





Touch Of Life

Life is always bittersweet!

As a beautiful sunset leaves thee earth never to be duplicated. Every skyline, every wave nor bend of the landscape will ever hold the suns decent the same. Colors burst in blends of florescent and shades rebounding against thee earth and sky.

As a new day shall emerge it will be detail yet each moment slips and cannot be saved.
As the beauty may not return tomorrow, hope lives on new beauty. New colors come alive never tinted of the same. So nor will your yesterday be as bitter as it was on a new dawn. The sweet is arising with new lights and shades of joy.